My Mom Thinks I Am Too Nice

Except when I’m not nice to her! Makes me feel powerless. Also angry. What’s wrong with trying to see things from the other person’s pov? But also, when I’m not nice, boy do people take it hard. If I were more regularly not nice I feel I’d have more room to manoeuvre. My friends call it “the madman’s advantage”: act crazy all the time so no one knows what you’re going to do next. I don’t have that. Terminally reasonable that’s me. Once my acting class was trying to figure out how to deal with a bureaucratic injustice at the university (we were always up in arms about something) I got to the bar late and they told me what the group decision was. “Don’t worry,” they said, ” we just designated someone to be you.” “What did they do?” I asked, intrigued. “Oh, they were just intensely diplomatic for the whole conversation.”

– Vanessa Porteous

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